Hand Analysis Online » Relationships and family

Are you a workaholic?

Jena Griffiths — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 07:39:08 +0000

Are you putting your heart into your work around the clock?
Did you just spend the weekend working?

It’s good to be passionate about your work but are you regularly taking time off to sharpen the saw?
Or just grinding away with blunt determination?

There are a couple of ways workaholic tendencies show up in hands.

One indicator is when your career line (the line running up from your wrist towards your middle finger,
also called a fate line or a Saturn line) is really strong and then joins forces with the energy of your heart line.

How does this look?
As if two rivers become one, instead of one simply crossing over the other line.

Action steps you can take right now

Are you spending enough time with your loved ones?
You might think you’re loving your family by putting in long hours to be successful so that you can give them a better lifestyle.
But children need your attention and time more than material things. And they grow up so fast.
This opportunity doesn’t linger. Most older people, when asked what they would do differently if they could live their life over say they wish they’d spent more time with their children.
Maybe re-look your priorities.
There’s a good Adam Sandler movie called “Click” on this topic.
Worth watching even if you don’t have this marker in your hands.

Working mum?
Watch the movie “I Don’t Know How She Does It” based on Allison Pearson’s novel of the same name.
In the end Sarah Jessica Parker learns how to set boundaries and take the time she needs for family while still staying at the top in her field.

To learn more about markers like this take a foundational class in hand analysis
or join us monthly or weekly in Earth School for Tuesdays with Richard Unger.
There are lots of free classes too.

Are you too pushy?

Jena Griffiths — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 14:03:02 +0000

When your index finger looks like it’s falling towards your thumb this indicates you have a tendency towards
forcing your will or perhaps being pushy.

The energy of the thumb (your will) pulls your index finger (power/influence) out of its normal alignment.
Meaning you’re imposing your will on your expression of power or influence.)

Is this your left hand? Then this means you are trying to be forceful at home or in your family.

The extreme version? If the lower part of the index finger gets very big and the finger is short this means the person could try to compensate for lack of confidence by being forceful. The big lower zone is connected to wanting to be in charge of your territory.

What to do?

The good news is you have a huge amount of willful energy.
How can you use this energy positively?
By working on self mastery rather than on influencing others or your environment.
This is called the art of “kaizen” in Japan.
Pushing yourself towards continuous self improvement in body, mind and soul as a daily practice.

How to do this?
Create your own daily practice to suit your conditions,
such as developing habits of eating and breathing properly
and setting aside an hour each morning for exercise, meditation, inspirational reading and positive self talk.
Plus time during the evening or day for self reflection, appreciation of nature and music.

“Saying you do not have time to improve yourself, whether this means improving your mind or nourishing your spirit, is much like saying you do not have time to stop for gas because you’re too busy driving.” Robin Sharma

I like Robin Sharma’s 10 rituals towards self mastery in his book The monk who sold his Ferrari but I don’t agree with the minute details of what he writes. For example, some people really do need more sleep than others and some body types may need meat while others not. Listen to your body and inner knowing rather than follow other people blindly.

Are you feeling pushed by someone else?

Did you ever read Carlos Castenada’s take on the “petty tyrant”?
These are people who constantly test us.
Their role is to make you more aware and vigilant; and more disciplined about
conserving your energy and not giving it away whenever someone tries to hijack you emotionally.

Can you let go of your need to be right?
And not get upset by whatever someone else is saying?
As Deepak Chopra says, “Defenselessness is the key to invincibility.” If you’ve got nothing to
defend then there’s nothing to attack.
If you are at loggerheads, can you step aside and hear what they are saying merely as an interesting point of view, different to your own view but equally valid?

We spoke about this and the work of Erwin Yalom and developing inner and outer listening skills during the call on miscommunication with Richard Unger last December. You can access this call here

This is my third post on finger alignment. For toppling ring fingers see my previous post.
For topping pinkie’s scroll down. Next we’ll look at the middle finger. Stay posted.

What are Sharma’s 10 rituals for self mastery?
creating a daily habit of
solitude/meditation
appreciation of nature
breathing properly
exercise
inspirational reading
self reflection
early awakening
appreciation of music
positive self talk affirmations
congruent character
simplicity

Richard Unger on the Simian line

Jena Griffiths — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 07:57:15 +0000

Just posted up this interview I did of Richard on the Simian line.
The good new if you have one, or if your child or partner has one.

We discussed this topic in more detail last december in our call on miscommunication.
You can access all previous calls here

Feeling misunderstood? Our call on this topic is today

Jena Griffiths — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 14:12:55 +0000

Do you feel misunderstood or like people are just not hearing or getting what you’re trying to tell them?

Our call on miscommunication and what to do is today.
How does miscommunication or feeling misunderstood show up in your hands?
More information here.

Family complications: are you dreading thanksgiving and the holiday season?

Jena Griffiths — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 12:51:01 +0000

“If you want to know how spiritual you’ve become – go home and visit your family!” Anon

We’re getting to that time of the year when the branches we thought we’d chopped off the family tree forever suddenly start sprouting, rooting and shooting. (Or is that a polite way of saying your relatives have arrived unannounced and are opening your best wines without being asked?)

With Thanksgiving and the holiday season just around the corner its time to start focusing on what to do about relatives and family relations.
We’ve got 2 calls on this topic coming up with Richard Unger. Today we’ll explore this topic from a problem solving perspective and next Tuesday we’ll look at detailed case scenarios.
Today’s call is for everyone dealing with family issues. Next Tuesday’s call is a specialist call for professional and amateur hand analysts.

What will we discuss today?
- What to do when you feel your family isn’t supporting you or when someone is too dominant?
- How to improve family relations by improving your relationship to yourself
- The difference between compromise and selling out
- Should you forgive your family? What to do about opening old wounds?
- How can your hands help you survive family gatherings in the coming holiday season?

Hand analysis tip:

Is your thinking heavily influenced by your original family?
Take a look at how connected your head line is to your lifeline.
Your head line shows your thinking style, your lifeline is your family line.

Is there a gap between the two showing independence of thought?
Or are these two lines connected far more than average as in the image below?

(Usually these 2 lines are joined for about a centimeter before parting and going their different ways.
More than this shows a dependence on family and a conformity to the values and thinking of your original family.
To find out more about this and what to do to survive family, don’t miss this call.

Are you living in disguise?

Jena Griffiths — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 17:16:22 +0000

How does hiding show up in hands?

It’s not possible to show up and shine if you aren’t being your genuine self.
If you’re living a lie. Or trying to hide under a bushel.

Last week we explored the theme “Hiding vs Showing Up ” from the perspective of authenticity with
Richard Unger.

Today, we’ll be continuing this theme, threading markers together to find solutions from an advanced hand analysis perspective.

How does hiding show up in hands?
Here’s a classic example – The Clark Kent line.

This marker indicates that, like Superman’s alter ego, the person has a second life that other’s (perhaps even his close family) don’t know about.
Sometimes you see this marker when a person has a gift that they are not living, for example, the gifted healer.

More about this?

Access the Showing Up Topic call here.

Join the advanced hand analysis classes here.

Previous calls like this.

Is your husband in love with another woman?

Jena Griffiths — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 17:45:05 +0000

Six years ago my husband told me he was in love with another woman.
This was the start of journey into hell that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
The pain and the shame were so deep, it’s taken me 6 years to even write about it openly.

What happened?
I imploded internally but externally kept a brave front not letting anyone know what was really going on. It took nearly a year to tell my parents and close family. I went home for Christmas but couldn’t find the courage to tell them. A nephew and his girlfriend came skiing for a weekend and I pretended we were still living together.

What helped me heal and what would I do differently?

In the beginning what helped the most was pure emotional release of my anger.

I remember standing in my pajamas under the other woman’s bedroom window at midnight in the howling snow screaming at her, threatening to kill her and smashing a flower pot on her front door step instead.

I wouldn’t recommend this behavior to anyone. I was lucky she lived in the country I might have got locked up. Still it was like lancing the boil. It halted the inner implosion that was going on.

Intellectually what helped me the most was hand analysis, Richard Unger’s fingerprint system combined with Byron Katie’s 4 questions:
Is the thought true?
How does it make you feel?
How would you feel without the thought?
Where’s the mirror? How can you turn this round?

This simple four step process helped me see that my husband was simply being a faithful mirror of my own self betrayal.
Looking through the lens of hand analysis, particularly knowing our fingerprint patterns, I could see the broader picture, the spiritual collaboration going on.

I wish I’d had Richard Moss’s Mandala of being to help me take this one step further. This is a process of coming down out of your head and into your body, to stay present with feelings, instead of creating more pain with one’s thoughts.

If this were today, what would I do differently?

I would allow myself to be more vulnerable and cry on my mother or sister’s shoulder.
Also, it took me two years to give myself the “luxury” of therapy. I would recommend seeing a therapist right away.

The path out?

Hand analysis is the starting point and the map but you need more than a map. You need friends, guides, encouragement and the right gear.
This is a long journey with many stepping stones.

You can learn the basics in Earth School or contact me for a personal or couple’s consultation online or in Switzerland.

Are you carrying a heavy burden for your family?

Jena Griffiths — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 11:06:43 +0000

Sometimes we’re far more loyal than is good for us.
We carry burdens that aren’t ours.

Do you feel the expectations of people you really care about and then do things for them that aren’t in alignment with your own needs, talents or inner calling?

This is normal in any family but what if it puts your whole life on hold?

For example, someone gives up their own dreams to help run the family business and then after their parents die they still do it even though it doesn’t bring joy or isn’t fulfilling.

When this condition is sever it shows up in the form of bubble (a centimeter or larger) at the bottom of your lifeline. In extreme situations, the bubble becomes a different color to the rest of the hand, off white beige or a greenish yellow. It may even take on a different, rougher texture to the palm around it.

The bubble opens and the effect is halved when the person becomes aware of and starts dealing with the situation.

The good news about this marker?
If you have it, it means you’re extremely loyal soul.

The bad news?
Perhaps the expectations are self imposed?

Are you carrying a heavier burden than you need to?
Is your soul crying out for freedom from a burden of perceived expectations?

Next Thursday, 25 August, I’ll be interviewing Richard Unger again for Earth School.
The topic: Responsibility vs Irresponsibility

More information about this call

Are you responsible or irresponsible?

Jena Griffiths — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 20:20:36 +0000

One of my father’s favorite sayings was “Let’s give the cat the canary!”
He’d say this whenever he was about to throw caution to the wind and be ridiculously generous.

When he and my mother were young entrepreneurs just starting out, their bank manager once said,
“Mr and Mrs Griffiths, you two are skating on very thin ice!”
Somehow they fell in love with this idea.
Decades later they were still looking lovingly into each other’s eyes and repeating his warning to each other in deep, gravelly voices.

Were they irresponsible? Not at all. They are good solid citizens.
There’s a thin line between enjoying life and not caring about the consequences.

How about you?
Do you skate on thin ice?
Fly kites in storms or perhaps even give the cat the canary?

Our next call with Richard Unger is this Thursday 25 August 2011.

The topic is responsibility vs irresponsibility.

We’ll be looking at three types of responsibility:

emotional responsibility, intellectual
responsibility and spiritual responsibility
and exploring what hands have to say about this subject.

Richard has thought deeply about this subject over more than 40 years of reading hands and I’m really looking forward to hearing his views.

For more information, or to join this call, go here:

I was totally irresponsible this summer and took an extended break (or perhaps that’s being responsible??)
I’ve posted at bit on this in Earth School.

Are you missing mother’s milk? (hand analysis tip)

Jena Griffiths — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 07:13:04 +0000

In her novel A Mercy Toni Morrison writes about a enslaved girl called Florens whose mother gives her away at an early age to a kindly stranger because she thinks it’ll give her daughter a better life than the one she herself has. Years later the girl gets her chance but she misses completely because it requires of her nurturing instincts; that she become mother – to a young boy adopted by the man she loves. Never having been mothered herself she sees the child as a competitor and the consequences are tragic.

This is an extreme version of what hand analysts call “missing mother’s milk”.

In my last post I wrote about “too much mommy.”
This is the opposite extreme.

When you are desperately in need of “mother’s milk” ;
self care and TLC from yourself if not your original mother.

How does a need for positive mothering show in your hand?

Take a look at the shape of the outer edge of your palm in the area between the thumb and your wrist. Called the Venus area of the hand.
Is this area concave and blue? Or is it well rounded, fleshy and filled out?
When this part of your hand starts to concave in it means it’s time to put your need for extreme self care and self nurturing on the front burner.

How to do this?

Play.

Here’s what “missing mother’s milk” looks like. Note the indent, as if a bite has been taken from this part of the hand.

This weekend Itzhak Beery will be in Zurich offering a workshop on mother healing.
more info here.

More about Toni Morrison’s A Mercy?
Morrison’s story is a fascinating exploration of human slavery because she sets the novel in a time period before slavery becomes linked to race. And she explores this landscape from an interior perspective.
What makes a person a slave?
Watch out for a forthcoming post on this and how it shows up in hands.