We’re getting to that time of the year when the branches we thought we’d chopped off the family tree forever suddenly start sprouting, rooting and shooting. (Or is that a polite way of saying your relatives have [...]]]> “If you want to know how spiritual you’ve become – go home and visit your family!” Anon

We’re getting to that time of the year when the branches we thought we’d chopped off the family tree forever suddenly start sprouting, rooting and shooting. (Or is that a polite way of saying your relatives have arrived unannounced and are opening your best wines without being asked?)

With Thanksgiving and the holiday season just around the corner its time to start focusing on what to do about relatives and family relations.
We’ve got 2 calls on this topic coming up with Richard Unger. Today we’ll explore this topic from a problem solving perspective and next Tuesday we’ll look at detailed case scenarios.
Today’s call is for everyone dealing with family issues. Next Tuesday’s call is a specialist call for professional and amateur hand analysts.

What will we discuss today?
- What to do when you feel your family isn’t supporting you or when someone is too dominant?
- How to improve family relations by improving your relationship to yourself
- The difference between compromise and selling out
- Should you forgive your family? What to do about opening old wounds?
- How can your hands help you survive family gatherings in the coming holiday season?

Register for this call here.

Hand analysis tip:

Is your thinking heavily influenced by your original family?
Take a look at how connected your head line is to your lifeline.
Your head line shows your thinking style, your lifeline is your family line.

Is there a gap between the two showing independence of thought?
Or are these two lines connected far more than average as in the image below?

(Usually these 2 lines are joined for about a centimeter before parting and going their different ways.
More than this shows a dependence on family and a conformity to the values and thinking of your original family.
To find out more about this and what to do to survive family, don’t miss this call.

What happened? I imploded internally but [...]]]>
Six years ago my husband told me he was in love with another woman.
This was the start of journey into hell that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
The pain and the shame were so deep, it’s taken me 6 years to even write about it openly.

What happened?
I imploded internally but externally kept a brave front not letting anyone know what was really going on. It took nearly a year to tell my parents and close family. I went home for Christmas but couldn’t find the courage to tell them. A nephew and his girlfriend came skiing for a weekend and I pretended we were still living together.

What helped me heal and what would I do differently?

In the beginning what helped the most was pure emotional release of my anger.

I remember standing in my pajamas under the other woman’s bedroom window at midnight in the howling snow screaming at her, threatening to kill her and smashing a flower pot on her front door step instead.

I wouldn’t recommend this behavior to anyone. I was lucky she lived in the country I might have got locked up. Still it was like lancing the boil. It halted the inner implosion that was going on.

Intellectually what helped me the most was hand analysis, Richard Unger’s fingerprint system combined with Byron Katie’s 4 questions:
Is the thought true?
How does it make you feel?
How would you feel without the thought?
Where’s the mirror? How can you turn this round?

This simple four step process helped me see that my husband was simply being a faithful mirror of my own self betrayal.
Looking through the lens of hand analysis, particularly knowing our fingerprint patterns, I could see the broader picture, the spiritual collaboration going on.

I wish I’d had Richard Moss’s Mandala of being to help me take this one step further. This is a process of coming down out of your head and into your body, to stay present with feelings, instead of creating more pain with one’s thoughts.

If this were today, what would I do differently?

I would allow myself to be more vulnerable and cry on my mother or sister’s shoulder.
Also, it took me two years to give myself the “luxury” of therapy. I would recommend seeing a therapist right away.

The path out?

Hand analysis is the starting point and the map but you need more than a map. You need friends, guides, encouragement and the right gear.
This is a long journey with many stepping stones.

You can learn the basics in Earth School or contact me for a personal or couple’s consultation online or in Switzerland.

Do you feel the expectations of people you really care about and then do things for them that aren’t in alignment with your own needs, talents or inner calling?

This is normal in any family but what [...]]]> Sometimes we’re far more loyal than is good for us.
We carry burdens that aren’t ours.

Do you feel the expectations of people you really care about and then do things for them that aren’t in alignment with your own needs, talents or inner calling?

This is normal in any family but what if it puts your whole life on hold?

For example, someone gives up their own dreams to help run the family business and then after their parents die they still do it even though it doesn’t bring joy or isn’t fulfilling.

When this condition is sever it shows up in the form of bubble (a centimeter or larger) at the bottom of your lifeline. In extreme situations, the bubble becomes a different color to the rest of the hand, off white beige or a greenish yellow. It may even take on a different, rougher texture to the palm around it.

The bubble opens and the effect is halved when the person becomes aware of and starts dealing with the situation.

The good news about this marker?
If you have it, it means you’re extremely loyal soul.

The bad news?
Perhaps the expectations are self imposed?

Are you carrying a heavier burden than you need to?
Is your soul crying out for freedom from a burden of perceived expectations?

Next Thursday, 25 August, I’ll be interviewing Richard Unger again for Earth School.
The topic: Responsibility vs Irresponsibility

More information about this call

When he and my mother were young entrepreneurs just starting out, their bank manager once said, “Mr and Mrs Griffiths, you two are [...]]]> One of my father’s favorite sayings was “Let’s give the cat the canary!”
He’d say this whenever he was about to throw caution to the wind and be ridiculously generous.

When he and my mother were young entrepreneurs just starting out, their bank manager once said,
“Mr and Mrs Griffiths, you two are skating on very thin ice!”
Somehow they fell in love with this idea.
Decades later they were still looking lovingly into each other’s eyes and repeating his warning to each other in deep, gravelly voices.

Were they irresponsible? Not at all. They are good solid citizens.
There’s a thin line between enjoying life and not caring about the consequences.

How about you?
Do you skate on thin ice?
Fly kites in storms or perhaps even give the cat the canary?

Our next call with Richard Unger is this Thursday 25 August 2011.

The topic is responsibility vs irresponsibility.

We’ll be looking at three types of responsibility:

emotional responsibility, intellectual
responsibility and spiritual responsibility
and exploring what hands have to say about this subject.

Richard has thought deeply about this subject over more than 40 years of reading hands and I’m really looking forward to hearing his views.

For more information, or to join this call, go here:

I was totally irresponsible this summer and took an extended break (or perhaps that’s being responsible??)
I’ve posted at bit on this in Earth School.

On the weekend I cycled 50km with my son including up two serious mountain passes. (The last one in the pitch dark.) This was our first real cycle together.

Why the over-kill?

I said I thought he was too young to go up hills then he said he thought I was too [...]]]>

On the weekend I cycled 50km with my son
including up two serious mountain passes.
(The last one in the pitch dark.)
This was our first real cycle together.

Why the over-kill?

I said I thought he was too young to go up hills
then he said he thought I was too old – so we just kept
going and going to see who would fall over first.
Then the next day we rode 30km – including a race
through a forest (I only saw a blur of tree roots)
to go swimming in a lake – and we came home up
another mountain pass….

Hopefully I haven’t damaged our relationship
forever on a soul level.

Tomorrow………. today?!
Tuesday, 7 June 2011
2pm Eastern, 8pm Switzerland/Central Europe
I’ll be interviewing Itzhak Beery on how to
heal the relationship between ourselves and
our mothers on a soul level.
(I’ll record this call for the next generation )

Itzhak says that this primary relationship influences
much that goes on in your life and also your
relationship to nature.
Here’s the link to listen to Mother Healing:
http://InstantTeleseminar.com/?eventID=20127459
More about this

Hand analysis tip.
How does too much mommy show up in hands?

Itzhak has an interesting take on this topic. He says this primary relationship influences our every day life and even our relationship with nature.

More about  and direct link to this interview [...]]]> This Tuesday, at 8pm Switzerland, 2pm Eastern I’ll be interviewing Itzhak Beery on healing the relationship with our mother on a souls level.

Itzhak has an interesting take on this topic. He says this primary relationship influences our every day life and even our relationship with nature.

More about  and direct link to this interview here.

How does your relationship with your mother show up in your hands?

It can show up in various ways.

For example,  a low set pinkie finger (see image below. The pinkie finger is set much lower down in the hand than normal)

indicates “too much mommy” in a man’s hand. The mother was either very dominant or was more influential prehaps because the father wasn’t around much.

The danger then is to continue the pattern by either choosing women who are dominant or avoiding women altogether.

Low set pinkie finger

More info like this? – see my hand analysis foundation classes on how to read a palm using professional hand analyst techniques.

This marker means something slightly different in a woman’s hand.

Polly is the author of The Self Esteem Trap. Raising Confident Kids in an Age of Self Importance

This is a free call. we’ll be talking about various issues including the rise in teenage suicides. Attend here at 10pm swiss [...]]]> In a few hours I’ll be interviewing Dr Polly Young-Eisendrath for Earth School.

Polly is the author of The Self Esteem Trap. Raising Confident Kids in an Age of Self Importance

This is a free call. we’ll be talking about various issues including the rise in teenage suicides.
Attend here at 10pm swiss time, 4pm Eastern
or listen to the replay on the same link.
More information.

What has this call to do with hand analysis?

As a hand analyst, one of the joys of my job is telling people about the many talents and strengths they have that they may not be aware of. Usually this has an extremely positive and motivating effect. People feel seen at a deep level.

But we walk a delicate balance.

This is something that worries me about hand analysis:
If you tell someone they are gifted and they need to be living these gifts and they aren’t, there’s a real danger that the person could walk away feeling deeply shamed or humiliated for not yet living their full potential or being on purpose.

What you tell them about might feel too far away or too unreachable or too overwhelming.
Are we putting too much pressure on our clients without realising it?

Is hand analysis a bit like telling a worm that actually its a butterfly?
And then the worm feels shamed because obviously it has no wings and no clue how to fly.

This is something you need to be aware of and sensitive to when analysing hands.
Just like well-meaning parents, you could be putting your client into what Polly calls “the self esteem trap”.

It helps to guage each person and empower them rather than dis-empower them.

Encourage them to trust in life’s process.
Be gentle on themselves.
There are no mistakes.
The timing is always perfect.
If you miss the boat usually its so you can help someone else catch the next one or you wind up meeting someone else who has other vital information for you. So why beat yourself us unnecessarily?

You can’t make a beautiful tapestry without making lots of messy knots on the underside.

Are you the power behind someone else's throne?

Sometimes one sees multiple Jupiter stars, or 8 pointed varieties. These, according to Unger, indicate the capacity to [...]]]> A Jupiter Star is a gift marker indicating leadership and high achievement, according to Richard Unger, the man who first identified this gift marker and 16 others.


Are you the power behind someone else's throne?

Sometimes one sees multiple Jupiter stars, or 8 pointed varieties.
These, according to Unger, indicate the capacity to be a leader of leaders.

Only a few percent of people have this marker and even fewer have multiple stars.
If you have a Jupiter star it's a big deal.

As with all star formations ask yourself:
What lines make up the star?
Are any points missing? If so, which?
What quadrant of the Jupiter mount is the star positioned in? This indicates what type of leadership.

The shadow side of the Jupiter star appears when these qualities are not fully owned and occupied.

The danger?
You're built to take a leading role but instead of finding your own throne and sitting on it, you help someone else by playing second fiddle.
You take a supporting role in someone else's mission.
The problem is, often this other mission is not your mission nor your purpose.
Then you're in danger of losing the spark in your eyes.
You're succeeding at the task but it doesn't feel satisfying.

Jupiter star on a sunny day:
you have found your own particular throne and are sitting on it.
- the project resonates with and is driven by your purpose and passion.

Shadow scenarios:
• A constant feeling that one is underachieving, even when this is not the case.
• Attempting to be the power behind someone else’s
throne: president's wife syndrome.
• Bringing out one’s ambition through another.
• Power plays or giving away one's power.
• Trying to control the person who is in charge.
• Diminishing oneself to please others.

If you recognise any of these scenarios, don't feel shamed.
You can't have the light without the dark, and the dark serves the light
to add contrast and show you what you have.
Instead focus on the sunny side - the magnificance of what you have -
a powerful gift that's begging you to own and fully inhabit it.

You'll notice as with any marker, there isn't just light and dark.
There are two shadow poles.
One is too much of a quality and the other is too little of it.
In this case, power.

This is what Unger calls his "Goldilocks principle" :
too much, too little, just right.

Action steps you can take right now?

Be gentle on yourself when you err in either direction.
And keep making small corrections. Like an aircraft going from A to B.
90% of the time the aircraft is off course but through small constant
adjustments it reaches its target anyway.

In last week's advanced threading call with Richard Unger we discussed this marker and its shadow side in relationships. We also discussed this marker during our first threading call earlier this year on knowing what you want.

In the hand we discussed during last week's call, this marker was on a man's hand
(see image below.)

These days this gift marker is found far more frequently on women's hands than on men's. Richard says this never used to be the case when he first started reading hands over 40 years ago.

I find this fascinating.
Why? Is it an indicator of the new spirit sweeping our planet? humanity re-owning its feminine power?

When I work with clients who have this marker in their hands I give them a picture of Imperia. The formidable statue by artist Peter Lenk that stands on the end of the jetty in Konstanz, Germany.
She's magnificent albeit highly controversial. Full of positive female power, holding in one hand the pope and in the other the kaiser, both wearing crowns. Two little old naked dissatisfied men. They're in stark contrast to her happy spirit and lythe female vibrancy.

Why do I give them this image?
It's a good reminder to own and embrace this inner friend. Both the positive and the negative sides of her.

If you have a Jupiter star, Imperia is both an inner friend and an inner enemy. Acknowledge her and give her space to reign.

What does a Jupiter star marker look like?

Do you have a Jupiter Star?

You'd like to know more about this marker?

Why listen to what other people have to say about this gift marker?
Why not listen directly to what Richard says?
Here's the link to the calls with Richard. Jupiter star was discussed in the first 2
advanced threading calls

I have a Jupiter star in my hand. Oops!

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